In the bathroom, Jason was fighting to keep himself even. He had almost kissed Tim. He'd wanted to. Had been wanting to, if he stopped to really think about it. He'd wanted to kiss those snarky, slightly chapped lips for longer than he cared to admit. And, he was pretty sure that Tim had wanted to kiss him back.
But how could he? How could anyone want to kiss someone like him? He was dead, for fuck's sake. Sure, he was better now, but it was all just borrowed time and he was under absolutely no delusions of out living the job. He was going to go down exactly like he did the first time and, more importantly, that was the death he deserved.
He was not a good person. Maybe he never had been, but he certainly wasn't now. He was trying to be better, trying to not let his anger overwhelm everything until all he knew was green...but it was hard and it was slow and he didn't deserve to kiss someone like Tim. Someone he'd hurt time and time again, not on accident but on purpose. With intent. He'd been aiming for his knife to sink into that elegant throat, why the hell did he think he had a right to caress it now instead?
Crossing over to the shower, he twisted the knob as hot as he could stand it, then twisted just a little bit more. The heat was quick to bite into his skin but he didn't let himself hiss as he stepped into the spray. He washed methodically and completely, letting the burn of the heat drive away the image of Tim looking up at him like he had been, all hopeful blue eyes and trust.
By the time the shower stopped, steam was leaking out from under the door. His skin was bright pink and a little shiny, steam coming off his red shoulders and wet hair. The towel scraped against sensitive skin, so he dried off enough to not drip before he pulled on a pair of sweats and the loose, comfortable t-shirt he'd grabbed. There was still steam in his hair when the bathroom door opened, but he was at least a little more settled in his own skin.
His smile was still haunted on his lips, however, so he kept it small so that Tim hopefully wouldn't notice.
"All clean. Ready for some food? I have some beers in the fridge, I think. Tequila, if you want it. I'm probably going to stick to Zesti, though."
Jay has issues and no one is surprised. XD
But how could he? How could anyone want to kiss someone like him? He was dead, for fuck's sake. Sure, he was better now, but it was all just borrowed time and he was under absolutely no delusions of out living the job. He was going to go down exactly like he did the first time and, more importantly, that was the death he deserved.
He was not a good person. Maybe he never had been, but he certainly wasn't now. He was trying to be better, trying to not let his anger overwhelm everything until all he knew was green...but it was hard and it was slow and he didn't deserve to kiss someone like Tim. Someone he'd hurt time and time again, not on accident but on purpose. With intent. He'd been aiming for his knife to sink into that elegant throat, why the hell did he think he had a right to caress it now instead?
Crossing over to the shower, he twisted the knob as hot as he could stand it, then twisted just a little bit more. The heat was quick to bite into his skin but he didn't let himself hiss as he stepped into the spray. He washed methodically and completely, letting the burn of the heat drive away the image of Tim looking up at him like he had been, all hopeful blue eyes and trust.
By the time the shower stopped, steam was leaking out from under the door. His skin was bright pink and a little shiny, steam coming off his red shoulders and wet hair. The towel scraped against sensitive skin, so he dried off enough to not drip before he pulled on a pair of sweats and the loose, comfortable t-shirt he'd grabbed. There was still steam in his hair when the bathroom door opened, but he was at least a little more settled in his own skin.
His smile was still haunted on his lips, however, so he kept it small so that Tim hopefully wouldn't notice.
"All clean. Ready for some food? I have some beers in the fridge, I think. Tequila, if you want it. I'm probably going to stick to Zesti, though."