He'd gotten quite a few traits from his father and Jason loved each and every one of them. Even if they gave no end to his headaches trying to chase after his far too clever son.
"Knowing the truth is important, yes." He didn't sound upset, but he was a little gruff. "But the truth can often hurt and I...My entire purpose on this world is to keep you from harm. You're my son and I'd do anything to protect you."
But did he have the right to protect him from this? Breathing out a sigh into Damian's hair, Jason closed his eyes and just soaked in the warmth of the boy in his arms for a moment. "I just got you back. I don't think I could survive losing you again.
You should go back. You have a place at his side and he...for all his flaws, he's not a terrible dad. Some of the happiest memories I have are with him. As Robin.
I don't suppose your mom told him about me, hmm? Oh, that's gunna be a fun conversation. And I'm not sleeping in my old room. I'll help Alfie strip it back into a guest room, I guess... Fuck, it will be good to see the old man again."
Damian's frown took on a hint of a pout in response to the gruffness. "I can protect myself, baba."
But then, wasn't that part of what he was glad to SEE his baba for? Not to protect him from a fight but from ... having to know he hadn't been wanted. He'd had to try to carve out all his affection and softness for Jason because it'd been false. Now he knew it wasn't, so he could trust that part of himself with Jason again.
"Mother didn't tell him very much, as far as I can tell," Damian said. He blinked, looking at Jason a little hopefully. "You would come back with me, to the manor?"
"Just because you can do something doesn't mean you have to, habibi. I'm your baba. I'm allowed to protect you because I love you" The gruffness was mostly gone, replaced instead with affection.
"I-" He huffed, once more reaching up to cover that scar on his throat with his hand. "I'm willing to try. Can't promise the asshole is gunna let me. Our last meeting didn't exactly end in hugs and scent marking. There's a very real chance that I'll walk in and he'll immediately haul me off to Blackgate. Or-" Or Arkham. He didn't finish the sentence because to put the idea out there would give it validity and the thought of being trapped in that hellhole with all the people he'd helped put there sent a shiver of fear through his spine. He gave the scar a little rub, then dropped his hand back down.
"I'll need a little bit of time to set up a proxy for the Bowery. If I just disappear, it'll be a free for all and everything that I've worked for here will just fall apart. These people don't deserve that."
Damian considered that and then gave Jason a small smile. "We'll protect one another, then."
He touched fingers to the scar too, atop Jason's. "If he's entirely unreasonable we'll just disappear back into somewhere else. Another part of the city if you must stay here. He seems to want me to stay. I don't know if that's so he can contain me, or out of genuine desire. I will be sure he knows that where you go, I go."
Damian nodded. "Whatever you need, baba. I ... while you set up what you need to, can I come see you still? If I come alone."
He smiled, fondness and affection and just a little bit of amusement in the expression. But mostly, there was simply wonder. Three hours ago, his son had been dead and Jason had been a hollowed out shell, going through the motions of living and protecting the people that couldn't protect themselves because he hadn't been able to protect the one person who meant the world to him.
Again.
And yet, here they were. Curled together in a makeshift nest, his son only just barely still small enough to fit comfortably in such a space. He could see the past year of 'training' in those vivid green eyes and he ached to know that he hadn't been there to help ease the healing. Honestly, he was willing to put money down on that being the exact catalyst for why Talia had set him on his revenge.
He needed to remind Damian that he was still Damian under the robes and the blood.
Laying back down, Jason took a measured breath, the rolling bubble of emotion that had settled into his belly was...exhausting. He was angry because he was always angry, but he was angry because he'd lost the last year of watching Damian grow. He was scared because the idea of willingly walking back into the Manor to just accept whatever fate Bruce was going to give him was terrifying. Excitement because his son was alive and in his arms and he might get to see Alfred again...
It was a lot, very suddenly.
"You can always come see me, habibi. Even if he puts me somewhere to 'punish' me, you will always be welcome. Lay down with me? Your baba is very tired and wants to hold his princeling, if his princeling will tolerate such affection." That small, teasing smirk was back, but he didn't reach for the boy. Merely opened his arms and let him decide.
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"Knowing the truth is important, yes." He didn't sound upset, but he was a little gruff. "But the truth can often hurt and I...My entire purpose on this world is to keep you from harm. You're my son and I'd do anything to protect you."
But did he have the right to protect him from this? Breathing out a sigh into Damian's hair, Jason closed his eyes and just soaked in the warmth of the boy in his arms for a moment. "I just got you back. I don't think I could survive losing you again.
You should go back. You have a place at his side and he...for all his flaws, he's not a terrible dad. Some of the happiest memories I have are with him. As Robin.
I don't suppose your mom told him about me, hmm? Oh, that's gunna be a fun conversation. And I'm not sleeping in my old room. I'll help Alfie strip it back into a guest room, I guess... Fuck, it will be good to see the old man again."
no subject
But then, wasn't that part of what he was glad to SEE his baba for? Not to protect him from a fight but from ... having to know he hadn't been wanted. He'd had to try to carve out all his affection and softness for Jason because it'd been false. Now he knew it wasn't, so he could trust that part of himself with Jason again.
"Mother didn't tell him very much, as far as I can tell," Damian said. He blinked, looking at Jason a little hopefully. "You would come back with me, to the manor?"
no subject
"I-" He huffed, once more reaching up to cover that scar on his throat with his hand. "I'm willing to try. Can't promise the asshole is gunna let me. Our last meeting didn't exactly end in hugs and scent marking. There's a very real chance that I'll walk in and he'll immediately haul me off to Blackgate. Or-" Or Arkham. He didn't finish the sentence because to put the idea out there would give it validity and the thought of being trapped in that hellhole with all the people he'd helped put there sent a shiver of fear through his spine. He gave the scar a little rub, then dropped his hand back down.
"I'll need a little bit of time to set up a proxy for the Bowery. If I just disappear, it'll be a free for all and everything that I've worked for here will just fall apart. These people don't deserve that."
no subject
He touched fingers to the scar too, atop Jason's. "If he's entirely unreasonable we'll just disappear back into somewhere else. Another part of the city if you must stay here. He seems to want me to stay. I don't know if that's so he can contain me, or out of genuine desire. I will be sure he knows that where you go, I go."
Damian nodded. "Whatever you need, baba. I ... while you set up what you need to, can I come see you still? If I come alone."
no subject
Again.
And yet, here they were. Curled together in a makeshift nest, his son only just barely still small enough to fit comfortably in such a space. He could see the past year of 'training' in those vivid green eyes and he ached to know that he hadn't been there to help ease the healing. Honestly, he was willing to put money down on that being the exact catalyst for why Talia had set him on his revenge.
He needed to remind Damian that he was still Damian under the robes and the blood.
Laying back down, Jason took a measured breath, the rolling bubble of emotion that had settled into his belly was...exhausting. He was angry because he was always angry, but he was angry because he'd lost the last year of watching Damian grow. He was scared because the idea of willingly walking back into the Manor to just accept whatever fate Bruce was going to give him was terrifying. Excitement because his son was alive and in his arms and he might get to see Alfred again...
It was a lot, very suddenly.
"You can always come see me, habibi. Even if he puts me somewhere to 'punish' me, you will always be welcome. Lay down with me? Your baba is very tired and wants to hold his princeling, if his princeling will tolerate such affection." That small, teasing smirk was back, but he didn't reach for the boy. Merely opened his arms and let him decide.