[He hadn't meant to be a killjoy. He really hadn't. He just...he'd needed a few minutes to work through what he was feeling without it just transmuting into anger like his emotions had a bad habit of doing. It was the whole emotional dysregulation thing. He was getting better at deal with it, at picking through what he was feeling so he that he didn't lose his grip on himself, but sometimes that meant he had to make a hasty retreat from whatever situation had caused it. He hated it, but it was worlds better than just being angry at everything.
The knock didn't come as a surprise and Jason took a moment to draw in a few more grounding breaths before he trusted himself to speak.]
Yeah, come on in. [When the door opened and proved him correct about who was on the other side of it, Jason managed a smile and shifted to lean back against the bed.] I'm okay. I just...I needed to take a minute. Come sit with me?
[ Jason looked like he was trying to hold everything together with the way that sharp mouth pulled into a small smile as Jason still tried to reassure him. It helped, and Dick let out the breath he was holding when Jason invited him in.
The door clicked shut behind him as Dick stepped into their bedroom and quietly sat down beside Jason. He tipped his head against Jason's shoulder and laid a warm hand on Jason's thigh. He sat quiet for a moment, before speaking. ]
[Dick settled down next to him and Jason shifted to lean against his brother's side, his head turning so that he could rest his forehead against Dick's shoulder. There had been a time not that long ago when touching him while he was this overstimulated would have resulted in a blow up. Harsh words and insults at minimum and an all out fight before he stormed off to his own place for a few days at worst.
It said a lot that he not only welcomed Dick into his space, but actually sought out his touch.
He smirked when Dick reassured him, but it wasn't a negative expression. If anything, it was fondness that came through in his tone.]
I know, Dickie. And for a moment, I wasn't...but this is helping. A couple minutes of quiet can soothe the savage beast and all that.
[ Jason has done so much work on himself, and Dick could see the difference day by day. That firey heart he knows and loves would always be there, and he wouldn't ever want to see it go anywhere, but he was also happy to see Jason learn to soothe away some of the pain that spiked to the surface.
He has also learned, too, not to always take that pain so personally. When Jason needed space, Dick was learning to give it to him, to patiently stay by Jason's side, even if sometimes it wasn't physically. He was starting to understand better and better where those needs came from. And the more Jason accepted Dick in these moments, the more he loved his brother.
Those words made him smile. A huff of laughter fondly pressed against Jason's hair as he dropped a kiss atop his boyfriend's head. ]
Hey. That's my savage beast you're talking about.
[ he set his hand on Jason's thigh, squeezing gently with the quiet tease. ]
Listen. I'm sorry, Jay. It wasn't my brightest moment to throw you a surprise party.
[It hadn't been the easiest thing, figuring out how to handle himself. He couldn't exactly go to a normal therapist, after all. Even in Gotham, being murdered by a madman and then being brought back to life by a Kryptonan temper tantrum was a little far fetched for most civilians. Add in the years of living with literal ninja and being trained to murder his own family and....well, he'd had to think outside the box.
In the end, he'd gone to see Harley and she'd helped. A lot. She was still crazy, of course, but so was he. She was still one of the best psychologists that Gotham had ever seen. Plus, she had personal insight on how being mentally and physically tortured by Joker tended to fuck someone up. Sessions didn't always end well, but they ended well often enough that Jason was learning how to manage some of his more deadly reactions.
Chuckling softly, he relaxed against the older man's side, keeping his eyes closed as he soaked up his brother's warmth.]
It's not the party, Dickie. I love the party. The fact that you got Roy here without him spilling the entire operation is fucking impressive. I just...it was a lot, for a moment. The 'surprise' part might have been a little too much, that's all. I really did almost gut poor Gar.
[And it was that more than the surprise that was getting to him, really. The fact that even on his good days, he was still so undeniably dangerous. He wasn't safe to be around and sometimes that fact hit a little harder than other times.]
How much do you want to bet Roy cut himself a slice out of the damned middle of my cake like a heathen?
[ Dick could sense the guilt loud and clear in Jason's words, and his smile turned soft hearing it. ]
I should've known it would be too much but--you didn't, though. Gar is fine. You controlled it, and you came here, and you calmed down.
[ Dick shifted to wrap his arms around Jason instead and took those broad shoulders into his embrace. Even this was new, being able to hold Jason through these difficult moments rather than only being able to sit and watch. Perhaps it was selfish that he wanted this, to feel like he was actually helping instead of useless. It probably said more about him than about Jason.
Though he could always count on Roy to lighten up the moment. Even when he wasn't here. ]
You never know. Might not be too late to try and stop him, though. If you want to.
[ He dropped a kiss atop Jason's head again. ]
I'm also more than happy to stay here for a bit. I didn't even get a chance to tell you how much I missed you. So fucking cute you insisted on coming so soon.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
The knock didn't come as a surprise and Jason took a moment to draw in a few more grounding breaths before he trusted himself to speak.]
Yeah, come on in. [When the door opened and proved him correct about who was on the other side of it, Jason managed a smile and shifted to lean back against the bed.] I'm okay. I just...I needed to take a minute. Come sit with me?
sorry for the slow... i went on vacay ;u;
The door clicked shut behind him as Dick stepped into their bedroom and quietly sat down beside Jason. He tipped his head against Jason's shoulder and laid a warm hand on Jason's thigh. He sat quiet for a moment, before speaking. ]
It's also okay if you're not okay, you know.
You are totally fine, bb ^_^
It said a lot that he not only welcomed Dick into his space, but actually sought out his touch.
He smirked when Dick reassured him, but it wasn't a negative expression. If anything, it was fondness that came through in his tone.]
I know, Dickie. And for a moment, I wasn't...but this is helping. A couple minutes of quiet can soothe the savage beast and all that.
no subject
He has also learned, too, not to always take that pain so personally. When Jason needed space, Dick was learning to give it to him, to patiently stay by Jason's side, even if sometimes it wasn't physically. He was starting to understand better and better where those needs came from. And the more Jason accepted Dick in these moments, the more he loved his brother.
Those words made him smile. A huff of laughter fondly pressed against Jason's hair as he dropped a kiss atop his boyfriend's head. ]
Hey. That's my savage beast you're talking about.
[ he set his hand on Jason's thigh, squeezing gently with the quiet tease. ]
Listen. I'm sorry, Jay. It wasn't my brightest moment to throw you a surprise party.
no subject
In the end, he'd gone to see Harley and she'd helped. A lot. She was still crazy, of course, but so was he. She was still one of the best psychologists that Gotham had ever seen. Plus, she had personal insight on how being mentally and physically tortured by Joker tended to fuck someone up. Sessions didn't always end well, but they ended well often enough that Jason was learning how to manage some of his more deadly reactions.
Chuckling softly, he relaxed against the older man's side, keeping his eyes closed as he soaked up his brother's warmth.]
It's not the party, Dickie. I love the party. The fact that you got Roy here without him spilling the entire operation is fucking impressive. I just...it was a lot, for a moment. The 'surprise' part might have been a little too much, that's all. I really did almost gut poor Gar.
[And it was that more than the surprise that was getting to him, really. The fact that even on his good days, he was still so undeniably dangerous. He wasn't safe to be around and sometimes that fact hit a little harder than other times.]
How much do you want to bet Roy cut himself a slice out of the damned middle of my cake like a heathen?
no subject
I should've known it would be too much but--you didn't, though. Gar is fine. You controlled it, and you came here, and you calmed down.
[ Dick shifted to wrap his arms around Jason instead and took those broad shoulders into his embrace. Even this was new, being able to hold Jason through these difficult moments rather than only being able to sit and watch. Perhaps it was selfish that he wanted this, to feel like he was actually helping instead of useless. It probably said more about him than about Jason.
Though he could always count on Roy to lighten up the moment. Even when he wasn't here. ]
You never know. Might not be too late to try and stop him, though. If you want to.
[ He dropped a kiss atop Jason's head again. ]
I'm also more than happy to stay here for a bit. I didn't even get a chance to tell you how much I missed you. So fucking cute you insisted on coming so soon.