Tim laughed, a warm, content sound. Not at Jason by any means but because a
sound needed to come out and he felt so incredibly good. "Then we'll do our
best not to fuck it up."
He liffs a hand to Jason's shoulder, smoothing down over his arm, easing
the tense muscles there until he felt them calm.
When was the last time he'd heard that laugh? Had he ever heard that laugh? Not directed at him, he was pretty sure. It sent warmth through his belly, a whole array of butterflies that fluttered and twisted about under the gnarly ropes of his scars. It made him smile, shy and a little lopsided.
"Yeah. Okay."
He wanted to point out that Barney was better than him in every way and he'd still managed to fuck it up....but he didn't. Not yet, anyway. He didn't want to put it into the universe that he was useless at this. He'd read so much but he'd never gotten to put any of it into practice and most of it would just be laughable in today's day and age. But being laughed at for spreading a picnic in the park was better than reducing this to a stress relief fuck in the shower, right?
He didn't want to just be a convenient body. Not again and certainly not to Tim.
"Okay," Tim murmurs, still happy to take up space and share the same
breaths for a few more minutes at least. The spell is likely to break at
some point, but Tim will take it for however long it lasts, closing his
eyes and pressing his forehead against Jason's. Allowing them both a few
minutes of secure, safe silence before he decided to fill the quiet with
another reply.
"A little opposite of shoving me against a wall. But I like it." He pressed
another kiss to Jason's lips and then pulled back. "But if you think I'm
about to less these go to waste, you're crazy." And he tucked back into his
food, a flush on his face but content.
Maybe the spell would break. Maybe the honeymoon phase would be short lived and Tim would realize what a shitty idea all this was. Maybe they wouldn't even get to the honeymoon phase. The space between them was charged with so many 'maybe's and still Jason found himself closing his eyes as their foreheads came together. The silence was deafening and he relaxed under it's pressure, content with the chance at a 'maybe'.
Another kiss and then Tim was turning back to the skillet of almost forgotten food and Jason huffed a small laugh as he flopped back to watch the younger boy put together another fajita.
"You know, for as much as you seem to like the idea of being shoved against a wall, you kiss very softly." It was a tease, but he couldn't quite help the way he reached up to brush his thumb over his lower lip. "Usually when people kiss me it's all grabby hands and teeth. Didn't know it could be so sweet. I liked it."
"I'm full of multitudes," Tim says, taking another sip of beer to wash down
what he's eating. He's pretty full admittedly, and he might regret
finishing off his third fajita, but he wasn't kidding about it being too
good to waste. He sets down the half-eaten third one, turns to face Jason
with his knee on the couch. There's a moment in which Tim considers just
keeping the sass going, rizzing between one another is easy after all, but
something about what Jason says bites at him.
He said, when people kiss me. Not when I kiss people. There was a weird
difference there that didn't sit well with Tim's overactive brain.
"Just how many people are kissing you these days?" he asks, quietly.
While Tim was debating the merits of finishing his third fajita, Jason snagged another tortilla to start constructing another. It took a hefty amount of calories to fuel his bulk, after all, and he hadn't trained his body to survive off nothing but vibes and coffee like Tim had. Not since his dip into the Lazarus pit, anyway.
He'd come out of that river with a hunger that had ached in his bones and there were times when it still felt like his stomach was trying to digest his spine if he waited too long between meals. It was true that he'd spent the first half of his life hungry and ignoring it, but there was no more ignoring it once the Pit had jump started his metabolism.
He was mid-bite when Tim turned a serious expression at him and Jason arched a brow in confusion as he chewed. "Wha-?" The bite muffled the question to jibberish and he rolled his eyes and held up a finger as he finished chewing and swallowed hard, chasing it with a sip from his Zesti to make sure everything went down okay.
"What are you talking about? You're the first person I've kissed in..." He thought about it for a moment, then scoffed at himself. "Fuck, in years. Where did that come from, babybird?"
The question shouldn't have surprised him. His history was in Bruce's files on him, every sordid detail of what he'd been doing to survive before he'd been taken in.
"The way you said it," Tim answer honestly. "Usually, when people kiss me.
I don't know. I didn't like that. The thought of people shoving into your
space to take what they wanted instead of giving you the space to accept
it." This isn't their usual conversation, and it's a little strained, but
getting easier by the minute. This softer side of Jason is a welcomed one.
Even if he's still giving Tim ridiculous nicknames.
"If I'm out of bounds, just say so and I'll drop it."
It wasn't their usual conversation and it...it was nice that Tim cared enough to push, but also, he didn't exactly like thinking about his time before Batman or his time with the League.
He certainly couldn't face those pretty, concerned eyes while he did it.
"You're not out of bounds, I just...It's not that big of a deal. It's pretty common in the League for people to find stress relief where ever they can. And I was pretty used to it cause of-" He cut himself off with an awkward shoulder shrug, eyes firmly planted on his half eaten food.
Suddenly, he didn't want to finish it.
"No gag reflex and already being used to holding still made me popular, I guess. It was a while ago, Tim. I was a whole different person back then."
The casual way Jason said it--no gag reflex...used to holding still--was
almost more haunting then the actual words themselves. But it painted a
horribly vivid picture for Tim, and he had known a little of it, but when
Jason had returned, Tim had been pretty much banned from the encrypted
files on Jason specifically. He'd parsed some things together, had seen
more than he wanted later on when the files were more lenient, but that
didn't make it any more bearable to hear straight from Jason.
"I know," Tim says, quietly, and offers a smile. He takes another sip of
beer, thankful it's easing the tension for him. "We don't have to talk
about that. I just--the idea of anyone using you, for any reason, really
pisses me off." He looks away, trying not to corner Jason with what people
sometimes call his intense gaze. It just kind of happens, when he's
passionate about something. And Jason being hurt by anyone for any reason
is enough to get him riled up. Even if it's in the past. "Also, just to put
it out there, I'm more than fine with getting shoved up against the wall by
you, but I also really love taking things slow. Kissing, especially."
It was a serious moment, one that demanded sincerity and maturity not quips and nonchalance. But Jason had never been particularly good with handling the swirl of emotions that rolled in his gut, even before he'd been dipped in the Lazarus Pit and what little regulation he did have was stripped away. He snorted out a small laugh, no amusement in the sound at all as he stared at his half eaten food.
"Don't know if you've figured this out, but being used is what I'm good for, Timbo. People only keep me around as long as I'm useful for them. It's been that way my whole fucking life." He was bitter but resigned. At least, until he glanced up and relaxed a little at the sight of Tim's face.
"Until you. You little weirdo. Stop looking so upset or I'll have to try and kiss you again."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Tim laughed, a warm, content sound. Not at Jason by any means but because a sound needed to come out and he felt so incredibly good. "Then we'll do our best not to fuck it up."
He liffs a hand to Jason's shoulder, smoothing down over his arm, easing the tense muscles there until he felt them calm.
"Okay?"
no subject
"Yeah. Okay."
He wanted to point out that Barney was better than him in every way and he'd still managed to fuck it up....but he didn't. Not yet, anyway. He didn't want to put it into the universe that he was useless at this. He'd read so much but he'd never gotten to put any of it into practice and most of it would just be laughable in today's day and age. But being laughed at for spreading a picnic in the park was better than reducing this to a stress relief fuck in the shower, right?
He didn't want to just be a convenient body. Not again and certainly not to Tim.
no subject
"Okay," Tim murmurs, still happy to take up space and share the same breaths for a few more minutes at least. The spell is likely to break at some point, but Tim will take it for however long it lasts, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against Jason's. Allowing them both a few minutes of secure, safe silence before he decided to fill the quiet with another reply.
"A little opposite of shoving me against a wall. But I like it." He pressed another kiss to Jason's lips and then pulled back. "But if you think I'm about to less these go to waste, you're crazy." And he tucked back into his food, a flush on his face but content.
no subject
Another kiss and then Tim was turning back to the skillet of almost forgotten food and Jason huffed a small laugh as he flopped back to watch the younger boy put together another fajita.
"You know, for as much as you seem to like the idea of being shoved against a wall, you kiss very softly." It was a tease, but he couldn't quite help the way he reached up to brush his thumb over his lower lip. "Usually when people kiss me it's all grabby hands and teeth. Didn't know it could be so sweet. I liked it."
no subject
"I'm full of multitudes," Tim says, taking another sip of beer to wash down what he's eating. He's pretty full admittedly, and he might regret finishing off his third fajita, but he wasn't kidding about it being too good to waste. He sets down the half-eaten third one, turns to face Jason with his knee on the couch. There's a moment in which Tim considers just keeping the sass going, rizzing between one another is easy after all, but something about what Jason says bites at him.
He said, when people kiss me. Not when I kiss people. There was a weird difference there that didn't sit well with Tim's overactive brain.
"Just how many people are kissing you these days?" he asks, quietly.
no subject
He'd come out of that river with a hunger that had ached in his bones and there were times when it still felt like his stomach was trying to digest his spine if he waited too long between meals. It was true that he'd spent the first half of his life hungry and ignoring it, but there was no more ignoring it once the Pit had jump started his metabolism.
He was mid-bite when Tim turned a serious expression at him and Jason arched a brow in confusion as he chewed. "Wha-?" The bite muffled the question to jibberish and he rolled his eyes and held up a finger as he finished chewing and swallowed hard, chasing it with a sip from his Zesti to make sure everything went down okay.
"What are you talking about? You're the first person I've kissed in..." He thought about it for a moment, then scoffed at himself. "Fuck, in years. Where did that come from, babybird?"
The question shouldn't have surprised him. His history was in Bruce's files on him, every sordid detail of what he'd been doing to survive before he'd been taken in.
no subject
"The way you said it," Tim answer honestly. "Usually, when people kiss me. I don't know. I didn't like that. The thought of people shoving into your space to take what they wanted instead of giving you the space to accept it." This isn't their usual conversation, and it's a little strained, but getting easier by the minute. This softer side of Jason is a welcomed one.
Even if he's still giving Tim ridiculous nicknames.
"If I'm out of bounds, just say so and I'll drop it."
no subject
He certainly couldn't face those pretty, concerned eyes while he did it.
"You're not out of bounds, I just...It's not that big of a deal. It's pretty common in the League for people to find stress relief where ever they can. And I was pretty used to it cause of-" He cut himself off with an awkward shoulder shrug, eyes firmly planted on his half eaten food.
Suddenly, he didn't want to finish it.
"No gag reflex and already being used to holding still made me popular, I guess. It was a while ago, Tim. I was a whole different person back then."
no subject
The casual way Jason said it--no gag reflex...used to holding still--was almost more haunting then the actual words themselves. But it painted a horribly vivid picture for Tim, and he had known a little of it, but when Jason had returned, Tim had been pretty much banned from the encrypted files on Jason specifically. He'd parsed some things together, had seen more than he wanted later on when the files were more lenient, but that didn't make it any more bearable to hear straight from Jason.
"I know," Tim says, quietly, and offers a smile. He takes another sip of beer, thankful it's easing the tension for him. "We don't have to talk about that. I just--the idea of anyone using you, for any reason, really pisses me off." He looks away, trying not to corner Jason with what people sometimes call his intense gaze. It just kind of happens, when he's passionate about something. And Jason being hurt by anyone for any reason is enough to get him riled up. Even if it's in the past. "Also, just to put it out there, I'm more than fine with getting shoved up against the wall by you, but I also really love taking things slow. Kissing, especially."
no subject
"Don't know if you've figured this out, but being used is what I'm good for, Timbo. People only keep me around as long as I'm useful for them. It's been that way my whole fucking life." He was bitter but resigned. At least, until he glanced up and relaxed a little at the sight of Tim's face.
"Until you. You little weirdo. Stop looking so upset or I'll have to try and kiss you again."