[ it's a bit of a new nickname he's trying and usually only mobilized in times of desperation, like now, as Jason pins him in place with wild eyes and so many mixed emotions Dick almost gets dizzy.
but he likes it. likes the taste of the nickname in his mouth, likes calling the fearsome Red Hood his baby, and also, likes the way that slow grin spreads across Jason’s face, lighting his features up.
it was a bad idea because spooking Jason in any way and catching him off guard could’ve resulted in any number of injuries. it’s why he instructed everyone to hide far from reach and to keep a keen eye out and react quickly if something were to go wrong.
Dick steps in closer to Jason to the chorus of laughter from their friends, takes his brother’s face in both his hands, and plants a deep, loving kiss to his lips. ]
I’m proud of you. And I’m really happy you didn’t ruin your own surprise. When you insisted on coming a week early ‘cus I broke my forearm, I was worried we wouldn’t pull it off.
[He'd never admit it, but Jason kinda loved the new nickname. He'd always been quick to pass out nicknames to the people he liked, but Dick had always been a little more serious than that. He'd always been 'Jason', or 'Jay'. 'Little Wing' had been starting to become a little common when Jason had died, but he'd loved it from the very first time that Dick had accepted him enough to give it to him. Even now, years and a whole fleet's worth of trauma later, 'Little Wing' could still soothe the worst of his hackles.
But 'baby' was brand new and so very public and even as terrified as Jason was at almost skewering their friends, it's use got a little swarm of butterflies to stir in his belly. He blushed across just the bridge of his nose, his freckles standing out against the flushed skin as he put away his knife and leaned into that kiss.]
Don't ever do something like that again, okay? Breaking yourself or making me accidently kill our family is a bitch move, Big Bird. [He soothed his words with another soft kiss, breaking away with a laugh when Roy gagged and threw a couch pillow at them.]
[ Pretty was the way Jason blushed, the colour blooming like the sun kissed him, from just the simple little nickname. His laugh and Dick grinning, his chest filling with warmth seeing Jason surrounded with their family.
He loved this man so much. ]
Alright, alright. [ he pulled away reluctantly with a final little smile at Jason. They’d pick this up later. For now, he laced their fingers together and tugged Jason by the hand over to the table, where Roy had placed the huge cake with its lopsided candles. ]
Sit, Jay.
[ He pulled out the chair at the head of the table, and Rachel was already snapping away with her Polaroid, no doubt capturing the amused expression on Dick’s face as he pressed Jason down into it by the shoulders. Kory lit the candles and they started to sing, their voices an out of tune chorus making Dick laugh. ]
[Thing was, Jay had never really been all that worried about his birthday. Catherine would get one of those fancy cupcakes and stick a candle in it, but that was about it. They didn't have the money to waste on gifts, especially not after Willis was arrested.
Alfred had made him a big cake the first birthday he'd spent with Bruce and that had been nice, but he'd felt guilty for the gifts that Bruce had given him. He'd quietly asked for something lower key, and the following years had been just that. Just the three of them, playing board games and eating cupcakes.
He hadn't even thought about his birthday after he'd woken up with Talia. How did one judge age when one had been dead for six months? Brain dead for another two years? He'd woken up at fifteen in an eighteen year old body and the disconnect had been enough that he hadn't wanted anything to do with his birthday.
Dick pushed him into that chair, Kori lit the candles, and voices fought with each other in a song he hadn't heard since he was eight and his chest was so tight, it took him three tries to be able to blow out the little flames. His throat was tight, but he still made himself smile as he stood up.]
You guys go ahead and cut into it, I..I need to- Piss. I need to piss. Long flight and everything.
[He didn't look back as he bolted for their bedroom, closing the door behind him before sinking to the floor to try and figure out how to breath again.]
[ Tension pulled across Jason’s expression as their song came to a close and the nominal amount of candles were blown out in three tries. Dick could see the way that smile pinched, the way his voice squeezed in his throat with the hasty excuse.
Roy was the only one who seemed to pick up on it, besides him, and gave him a sympathetic little pat on the shoulder as he watched Jason scurry off. To go or to stay? Did Jason want a moment to himself? Probably, but Dick couldn’t stomach the idea of staying here when there was something wrong.
He hadn’t been around for any of Jason’s birthdays before he died, but he could guess that it had never been a big thing for him. Birthdays carried a lot of weight for people, even for himself, as they would always remind him of his days in the circus, of being surrounded by his parents and his found family. He’s managed to make it something similar now, and accepted how it’s changed. He wanted to do the same for Jason, but he can see now, in the way Jason struggled with his reaction, that it may not have been the best plan to begin with.
Perhaps the surprise, and the crowd, and the cake was too much. Perhaps he should’ve known better.
He felt guilty for it, and hesitated outside the bedroom door before knocking softly. ]
[He hadn't meant to be a killjoy. He really hadn't. He just...he'd needed a few minutes to work through what he was feeling without it just transmuting into anger like his emotions had a bad habit of doing. It was the whole emotional dysregulation thing. He was getting better at deal with it, at picking through what he was feeling so he that he didn't lose his grip on himself, but sometimes that meant he had to make a hasty retreat from whatever situation had caused it. He hated it, but it was worlds better than just being angry at everything.
The knock didn't come as a surprise and Jason took a moment to draw in a few more grounding breaths before he trusted himself to speak.]
Yeah, come on in. [When the door opened and proved him correct about who was on the other side of it, Jason managed a smile and shifted to lean back against the bed.] I'm okay. I just...I needed to take a minute. Come sit with me?
[ Jason looked like he was trying to hold everything together with the way that sharp mouth pulled into a small smile as Jason still tried to reassure him. It helped, and Dick let out the breath he was holding when Jason invited him in.
The door clicked shut behind him as Dick stepped into their bedroom and quietly sat down beside Jason. He tipped his head against Jason's shoulder and laid a warm hand on Jason's thigh. He sat quiet for a moment, before speaking. ]
[Dick settled down next to him and Jason shifted to lean against his brother's side, his head turning so that he could rest his forehead against Dick's shoulder. There had been a time not that long ago when touching him while he was this overstimulated would have resulted in a blow up. Harsh words and insults at minimum and an all out fight before he stormed off to his own place for a few days at worst.
It said a lot that he not only welcomed Dick into his space, but actually sought out his touch.
He smirked when Dick reassured him, but it wasn't a negative expression. If anything, it was fondness that came through in his tone.]
I know, Dickie. And for a moment, I wasn't...but this is helping. A couple minutes of quiet can soothe the savage beast and all that.
[ Jason has done so much work on himself, and Dick could see the difference day by day. That firey heart he knows and loves would always be there, and he wouldn't ever want to see it go anywhere, but he was also happy to see Jason learn to soothe away some of the pain that spiked to the surface.
He has also learned, too, not to always take that pain so personally. When Jason needed space, Dick was learning to give it to him, to patiently stay by Jason's side, even if sometimes it wasn't physically. He was starting to understand better and better where those needs came from. And the more Jason accepted Dick in these moments, the more he loved his brother.
Those words made him smile. A huff of laughter fondly pressed against Jason's hair as he dropped a kiss atop his boyfriend's head. ]
Hey. That's my savage beast you're talking about.
[ he set his hand on Jason's thigh, squeezing gently with the quiet tease. ]
Listen. I'm sorry, Jay. It wasn't my brightest moment to throw you a surprise party.
[It hadn't been the easiest thing, figuring out how to handle himself. He couldn't exactly go to a normal therapist, after all. Even in Gotham, being murdered by a madman and then being brought back to life by a Kryptonan temper tantrum was a little far fetched for most civilians. Add in the years of living with literal ninja and being trained to murder his own family and....well, he'd had to think outside the box.
In the end, he'd gone to see Harley and she'd helped. A lot. She was still crazy, of course, but so was he. She was still one of the best psychologists that Gotham had ever seen. Plus, she had personal insight on how being mentally and physically tortured by Joker tended to fuck someone up. Sessions didn't always end well, but they ended well often enough that Jason was learning how to manage some of his more deadly reactions.
Chuckling softly, he relaxed against the older man's side, keeping his eyes closed as he soaked up his brother's warmth.]
It's not the party, Dickie. I love the party. The fact that you got Roy here without him spilling the entire operation is fucking impressive. I just...it was a lot, for a moment. The 'surprise' part might have been a little too much, that's all. I really did almost gut poor Gar.
[And it was that more than the surprise that was getting to him, really. The fact that even on his good days, he was still so undeniably dangerous. He wasn't safe to be around and sometimes that fact hit a little harder than other times.]
How much do you want to bet Roy cut himself a slice out of the damned middle of my cake like a heathen?
[ Dick could sense the guilt loud and clear in Jason's words, and his smile turned soft hearing it. ]
I should've known it would be too much but--you didn't, though. Gar is fine. You controlled it, and you came here, and you calmed down.
[ Dick shifted to wrap his arms around Jason instead and took those broad shoulders into his embrace. Even this was new, being able to hold Jason through these difficult moments rather than only being able to sit and watch. Perhaps it was selfish that he wanted this, to feel like he was actually helping instead of useless. It probably said more about him than about Jason.
Though he could always count on Roy to lighten up the moment. Even when he wasn't here. ]
You never know. Might not be too late to try and stop him, though. If you want to.
[ He dropped a kiss atop Jason's head again. ]
I'm also more than happy to stay here for a bit. I didn't even get a chance to tell you how much I missed you. So fucking cute you insisted on coming so soon.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Ty!!
[ it's a bit of a new nickname he's trying and usually only mobilized in times of desperation, like now, as Jason pins him in place with wild eyes and so many mixed emotions Dick almost gets dizzy.
but he likes it. likes the taste of the nickname in his mouth, likes calling the fearsome Red Hood his baby, and also, likes the way that slow grin spreads across Jason’s face, lighting his features up.
it was a bad idea because spooking Jason in any way and catching him off guard could’ve resulted in any number of injuries. it’s why he instructed everyone to hide far from reach and to keep a keen eye out and react quickly if something were to go wrong.
Dick steps in closer to Jason to the chorus of laughter from their friends, takes his brother’s face in both his hands, and plants a deep, loving kiss to his lips. ]
I’m proud of you. And I’m really happy you didn’t ruin your own surprise. When you insisted on coming a week early ‘cus I broke my forearm, I was worried we wouldn’t pull it off.
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But 'baby' was brand new and so very public and even as terrified as Jason was at almost skewering their friends, it's use got a little swarm of butterflies to stir in his belly. He blushed across just the bridge of his nose, his freckles standing out against the flushed skin as he put away his knife and leaned into that kiss.]
Don't ever do something like that again, okay? Breaking yourself or making me accidently kill our family is a bitch move, Big Bird. [He soothed his words with another soft kiss, breaking away with a laugh when Roy gagged and threw a couch pillow at them.]
We've got cake to eat! You can suck face later!
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He loved this man so much. ]
Alright, alright. [ he pulled away reluctantly with a final little smile at Jason. They’d pick this up later. For now, he laced their fingers together and tugged Jason by the hand over to the table, where Roy had placed the huge cake with its lopsided candles. ]
Sit, Jay.
[ He pulled out the chair at the head of the table, and Rachel was already snapping away with her Polaroid, no doubt capturing the amused expression on Dick’s face as he pressed Jason down into it by the shoulders. Kory lit the candles and they started to sing, their voices an out of tune chorus making Dick laugh. ]
no subject
Alfred had made him a big cake the first birthday he'd spent with Bruce and that had been nice, but he'd felt guilty for the gifts that Bruce had given him. He'd quietly asked for something lower key, and the following years had been just that. Just the three of them, playing board games and eating cupcakes.
He hadn't even thought about his birthday after he'd woken up with Talia. How did one judge age when one had been dead for six months? Brain dead for another two years? He'd woken up at fifteen in an eighteen year old body and the disconnect had been enough that he hadn't wanted anything to do with his birthday.
Dick pushed him into that chair, Kori lit the candles, and voices fought with each other in a song he hadn't heard since he was eight and his chest was so tight, it took him three tries to be able to blow out the little flames. His throat was tight, but he still made himself smile as he stood up.]
You guys go ahead and cut into it, I..I need to- Piss. I need to piss. Long flight and everything.
[He didn't look back as he bolted for their bedroom, closing the door behind him before sinking to the floor to try and figure out how to breath again.]
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Roy was the only one who seemed to pick up on it, besides him, and gave him a sympathetic little pat on the shoulder as he watched Jason scurry off. To go or to stay? Did Jason want a moment to himself? Probably, but Dick couldn’t stomach the idea of staying here when there was something wrong.
He hadn’t been around for any of Jason’s birthdays before he died, but he could guess that it had never been a big thing for him. Birthdays carried a lot of weight for people, even for himself, as they would always remind him of his days in the circus, of being surrounded by his parents and his found family. He’s managed to make it something similar now, and accepted how it’s changed. He wanted to do the same for Jason, but he can see now, in the way Jason struggled with his reaction, that it may not have been the best plan to begin with.
Perhaps the surprise, and the crowd, and the cake was too much. Perhaps he should’ve known better.
He felt guilty for it, and hesitated outside the bedroom door before knocking softly. ]
Jason? It’s me.
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The knock didn't come as a surprise and Jason took a moment to draw in a few more grounding breaths before he trusted himself to speak.]
Yeah, come on in. [When the door opened and proved him correct about who was on the other side of it, Jason managed a smile and shifted to lean back against the bed.] I'm okay. I just...I needed to take a minute. Come sit with me?
sorry for the slow... i went on vacay ;u;
The door clicked shut behind him as Dick stepped into their bedroom and quietly sat down beside Jason. He tipped his head against Jason's shoulder and laid a warm hand on Jason's thigh. He sat quiet for a moment, before speaking. ]
It's also okay if you're not okay, you know.
You are totally fine, bb ^_^
It said a lot that he not only welcomed Dick into his space, but actually sought out his touch.
He smirked when Dick reassured him, but it wasn't a negative expression. If anything, it was fondness that came through in his tone.]
I know, Dickie. And for a moment, I wasn't...but this is helping. A couple minutes of quiet can soothe the savage beast and all that.
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He has also learned, too, not to always take that pain so personally. When Jason needed space, Dick was learning to give it to him, to patiently stay by Jason's side, even if sometimes it wasn't physically. He was starting to understand better and better where those needs came from. And the more Jason accepted Dick in these moments, the more he loved his brother.
Those words made him smile. A huff of laughter fondly pressed against Jason's hair as he dropped a kiss atop his boyfriend's head. ]
Hey. That's my savage beast you're talking about.
[ he set his hand on Jason's thigh, squeezing gently with the quiet tease. ]
Listen. I'm sorry, Jay. It wasn't my brightest moment to throw you a surprise party.
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In the end, he'd gone to see Harley and she'd helped. A lot. She was still crazy, of course, but so was he. She was still one of the best psychologists that Gotham had ever seen. Plus, she had personal insight on how being mentally and physically tortured by Joker tended to fuck someone up. Sessions didn't always end well, but they ended well often enough that Jason was learning how to manage some of his more deadly reactions.
Chuckling softly, he relaxed against the older man's side, keeping his eyes closed as he soaked up his brother's warmth.]
It's not the party, Dickie. I love the party. The fact that you got Roy here without him spilling the entire operation is fucking impressive. I just...it was a lot, for a moment. The 'surprise' part might have been a little too much, that's all. I really did almost gut poor Gar.
[And it was that more than the surprise that was getting to him, really. The fact that even on his good days, he was still so undeniably dangerous. He wasn't safe to be around and sometimes that fact hit a little harder than other times.]
How much do you want to bet Roy cut himself a slice out of the damned middle of my cake like a heathen?
no subject
I should've known it would be too much but--you didn't, though. Gar is fine. You controlled it, and you came here, and you calmed down.
[ Dick shifted to wrap his arms around Jason instead and took those broad shoulders into his embrace. Even this was new, being able to hold Jason through these difficult moments rather than only being able to sit and watch. Perhaps it was selfish that he wanted this, to feel like he was actually helping instead of useless. It probably said more about him than about Jason.
Though he could always count on Roy to lighten up the moment. Even when he wasn't here. ]
You never know. Might not be too late to try and stop him, though. If you want to.
[ He dropped a kiss atop Jason's head again. ]
I'm also more than happy to stay here for a bit. I didn't even get a chance to tell you how much I missed you. So fucking cute you insisted on coming so soon.